1st Draft with Comments of Improvement

1. Re-shoot the first flashback

- Bad continuity 

- Jumpy cuts

- The wind is blowing against the microphone creating a static sound

- More dialogue is needed so that James and Lily's relationship is more believable

2. Re-shoot the walking towards the house scene

- Bad continuity

- Colour and design of the bag changes 

3. Re-shoot the conversation between James and Bliss

- Bad continuity

- Curtains tied up in one scene then drawn in the next

- Needs more dialogue between them both 

- Bad lighting 

- Change of location (props in background are wrong for the narrative)

4. Added scene 

- Bliss in the kitchen making a cup of tea while James packs and leaves

5. Added scene 

- Bliss walking into their room and seeing all his belongings gone 

- Edit -- his stuff will be there but then disappear 

6. Added scene 

- Becky leaving her house to try and find James but then attacks him in a fit of fury and rage

7. Voice over

- Bliss talking over the film to explain what is happening and how she is changing